Protected: #99r

by jha on 08/25/2018

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Protected: #99

by xi_le on 08/13/2018

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Protected: 15th July 2018 – Kiddo Day

by jha on 07/15/2018

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Protected: Pursuit of Joy

by jha on 06/2/2018

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Protected: Ditto

by jha on 05/9/2015

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by xi_le on 05/8/2015

I seek solace.

That pain, thought good riddance, returned. That familiar pain which literally tears me apart inside. Nostalgic.

The one who brought me out of the ditch threw me back in, like them.

We are all made in the image of God and hence no one is really Him. No one will love like He does. We all love with prerequisites, requirements and personal agendas.

I should learn to love better.


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by xi_le on 08/25/2014

Dear Chloe,

Looking at what we don’t have really eat us up.

I was intending to buy the ticket home and was frustrated over the many alternatives I need to think about in order to get the lowest price. And I asked God why we need to scrimp and save, didn’t you say You provide?

Then I saw your email.  Turn back to Jesus.

You know we are an office of 7 people doing 30 people’s work. Sharon and Lena said rest in The Lord, let God fight the battle, encourage the people with testimonies in Bible. I see the frustration of the people here wanting to do more but so limited human capacity. Everyone is overloaded over the brim. If those who knows God need to learn how to trust and rest in The Lord, what say more who don’t know God.

If we say words alone are insufficient for the poor and needy and hence we are involved in community development, then how about the marketplace ministry? What’s the action we should take, besides walking the walk? I wonder.

Add icing to the cake, the very same  people are pushing me to the limits. They just can’t keep their opinions to themselves. Whatever my comments or questions are replied Joy look at the many things we have to do. We need more people. No, it’s not what you think. No this, No that. I wonder how many more days of “Nos” I can tolerate.

So I told God, “I can’t handle Your people.”

God said, “Even Moses can’t handle his own people.” And this morning, He brought me to John 21.

He provides and “do you love me?”

“Feed my sheep”

I am tasked to watch, pray and intercede. Imagine this is what God had intended since I came here and I choose to ignore until recently. To learn to listen to God and pray instead of praying and God listen to me only is a challenge. Still learning in progress to be silent and still before God.

The people we loved (or don’t), the church, the burdens that God placed in our hearts and our lives need prayers and intercession. Through them, we see the hands of God moving and transformation happening.

Keep calm and look upwards, like snoopy.

Thank you for the encouragement, as always.




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by jha on 07/15/2014

Dear Joy,


If you were a real kid, you’d be in K1 this year! The start of formal education. Congrats for making it thus far so well.  Notwithstanding your rather non conducive (read: hostile) environment, mulberry dances and pokes along the way, I’m proud that you’re still journeying on in this path of righteousness.  Now that you’re entering Year 6, here’s some advice from Snoopy.  No one says it better -

5th kiddoday


Celebrating this day with joy in Kathmandu,


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by jha on 06/23/2014

Dear Joy,

I don’t have an answer to your last question – “Why is paying it forward so difficult?”

What I do know is this – you’re loved and blessed beyond what you sense and feel.

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

– Jesus (Matt 5:3-12)

Your current difficulty is not an indication that you’ve gone off focus.  From Jesus’ words, it’s precisely because you’re expending energy in staying focused that you face resistance.  It’s always easier to let go, but that’s not what He wants.  He promises that things will eventually be put right when He arrives on the scene, so may this difficult mojo-less season drive you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

Loving you as ever,


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by xi_le on 06/13/2014

Dear Janice,

During lunch one day, D and D commented,

Joy, if a dish comes and its yours, take it first. If there’s a similar one, it will still come

And I replied

I am taught this way (to let others go first).

During meeting one day, I commented,

D, remember you talked about adaptive grid? Maybe we really should look into it.

And she replied

What do you mean we? Why don’t you go try do it?

It made me wonder. I tried with my best efforts to fit in my current location, and I don’t. I wonder if being nice doesn’t quite cut it, hence I shouldn’t be nice.

This week, I received a nasty text from the younger twin to ask me not to complain to my boss and talk to her directly if I have a problem. Today, the older one came back to office and totally changed all the assignments which I discussed and allocated to the ladies.

It made me wonder again. What kind of employee should I be? The one who does what is told period or the one who takes initiative when there is a problem.

If a company is about God, then it’s about people. We grow a person’s character. Is that it? What about professional skills? Critical thinking, leadership, problem solving, customer service. Aren’t we supposed to impart all these too?

So I thank God for G. I met a mentor who taught me selflessly in my work, allowed me to make decisions and support my decisions.

And I thank God for you. You taught and loved me, almost like God in person.

So why is paying it forward so difficult?





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