#94-95r & DS Manual

by jha on 09/4/2013

Dear Joy,

Since I finally found a seat in a relatively quiet spot at Istanbul airport with 4 hours to burn, with no wifi or lounge privilege, I think it’s best to write this as promised and then upload it when I reach your place.

Thank you for posting 94 & 95 and for offering gems for my own application as well, such as God making the first move to say He loves you before inviting you to do likewise for people.  He doesn’t ask us to do something He hasn’t already done to and for us.  Yes, it is a daily challenge and a constant fight over our fleshly tendencies but it’s something we cant do without.  Yet when we do obey Him in commitment, we still run the risk of things getting horribly out of hand and being unappreciated. Perhaps this is why we feel that our journey with God is arduous and torturous.  Because we realise we’re stuck at Duty in the Desire-Discipline-Duty-Delight loop. When will Duty become Delight?  Will it ever?  And then when things don’t work out even when we fulfill our so-called duty, we wonder why we bother to do it in the first place. SLLTT is that tool that keeps us from wandering off the straight path – so what are your answers to your own questions you posted in 95 and what is God saying to you?

And now on my end, after 15 months in the making, I’m finally here.  I still remember it feeling like it’s never going to happen any time soon but it did.  And now on hindsight, it actually is rather short and quick.  In fact, the cruel thing about Life is that Time is going to fly by even more quickly now and before you know it, my time with you here will be over and we’ll be back at our stations. Ground rule #1: don’t put off to tomorrow what we can do today (cos if we like it, we can always do it again tomorrow)

There’ll always be some level of apprehension in me when going on trips apart from mission trips with people because if my recent non-mission trip experiences were anything to go by, they have the potential to make or break relationships.  So it’ll help to look out for and be attentive to miscommunication, misplaced expectations, second guessing and unaddressed emotions.  Tension will surely happen and its’ okay as long as it isn’t allowed to fester overnight into frustration. Thank God, nothing irreversible happened previously and I certainly hope it doesn’t happen again here.  But even if it does occur, do anything but sweep it under the carpet. Ground rule #2: don’t let the sun go down on anger or unhappiness.

This is also the start of my official grieving process.  So thank you for having me even though I may not be in the best of shape.  I wish I could have come in happier times, but I think God wouldn’t have had it any other way.  Had it not been for my parents’ double promotion, I don’t think I could have gotten 3-months paid leave to come here either.  Ground rule #3: If you see me emo all of a sudden for no apparent reason, it’s okay to not feel the need to “switch channel.” I could be having one of those grief waves, which comes and then goes off.  I hope the waves will stop coming when it’s time for me to return to Singapore.

  • Time-out: a lady sitting across me came up to me to ask me how to use her android tablet to type the symbol “@”  Good thing I managed to help her on her  English/Hebrew keyboard.  -.-“  She asked me for my name and then told me she’s Martha! Okay, just met my very first Jewish aquaintance.

Of course not everything about my stay is going to be centered around making full use of time, communication and grief.  I wish I can also say that I’ve always wanted to come see the holyland so this trip kills many birds with one stone.  Actually I’m only looking forward to “killing” 2 birds – (1) spending unhurried, undistracted time with you without much agenda and (2) getting reacquainted with God through this grieving period. Finally getting to be on the other side of the Facetime screen and watching your daily routine TLV life as it unfolds is a novelty for me.  Glad to be your added company in an otherwise alone environment.  We should have regular pow-wows too, something we haven’t done in ages.  God reveals Himself to us in the everyday human-to-human-to-nature interaction and it is from here I reckon my reacquaintance with Him will happen.

Battery dying and time to go sit at the boarding gate.  So much for now.  See you soon.  Real soon.


As ever,


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